Self Love

I wrote this portion of the post early in 2017 as a reflection of the prior year and my resolutions for this year. The post below shares this year's adventure.

Photographer: Russell Tanoue Make-up/Hair Artist: Heidi Fowler

“One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure of who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn't have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn't bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn't a word, but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man, or a job, but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket.”

I would like to believe that 2016 was a year of trials and tribulations and 2017 is the year of self discovery. It was a long journey of depression, anxiety, frustration, disappointments, panic attacks, uncertainty, blood, sweat, and many tears. I can vividly remember the fear of my near cancer encounter. And the recent break up with my long term boyfriend of 4 years. Despite these emotions and experiences, I've gain strength and learned to be selfish with my time.

Photographer: Ben Decastro

I've reignited my passion, embraced the comfort of my own skin, discovered my self worth, and refocused upon my dreams, aspirations, and life calling. I learned that my self worth is contingent upon my happiness, not others opinions or perspective of me. I learned how to truly love and appreciate myself and to enjoy my own company. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and I am ecstatic to dedicate my energy towards my professional career and I look forward to what my future holds. As for my dreams, aspirations, career, and life calling, I will save that for a future blog. But I want to leave you with a quote:

Co-emcee/translator at my friend wedding in South Korea. (We studied abroad together at Soonchunhyang University in 2013)

“There's so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn't. There's a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn't need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not with anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don't romanticize life like you can't survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn't any less beautiful, I promise.”

m.l.

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

2017 Reflection

“I've learned a lot this year … I learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I've learned that there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I've learned that some broken things stay broken, and I've learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.” – Jennifer Weiner

My best friend of 5 years, Jenny.

In 2017, I was able to truly and whole heartedly be honest with myself. Each day continues to be a struggling battle, but the glimpses of each priceless moment make life worth it. This year, I have experienced a roller coaster of emotions. I survived working overtime for five consecutive months, I got to see my best friend off at the airport as she began her new career and life in Texas, I gained Yelp Elite status, I ventured off to Vancouver by myself to visit my good friend I met studying abroad in South Korea, and I am constantly reminded that I am loved.

Tammy, my amazing host and good friend from Vancouver. (She saved me from starvation when I sprained my ankle in South Korea)

I discovered that my strengths lie within my flaws and to embrace my continuous development. I am still discovering myself and constantly reinventing myself. Although I may not be where I expected, and I am not certain where life will take me next, I am excited for what my future holds.

In 2018, I anticipate lots of traveling, food adventures, and more photo shoots. I am blessed and always thankful for those that have continued to support me and choose to remain in my life.

View from the Vancouver Lookout Photographer: Melody Lai

Always remember “whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”

Check out my blog here: https://marshmelodyy2.blogspot.com/2017/12/self-love.html